I have a friend that is really good at pushing me outside of my comfort level when it comes to photography. I’m always thankful to her afterwards, but I have a tendency to lose all confidence in the meantime. I second-guess, freak out, stumble over my words, get red-faced and use self-deprecating humor. I’m awkward. (duh)
I do a lot of talking about “when I get a new camera, I’ll…” and “after I take a photography class, I will…” But recently, I decided to push myself outside of my comfort level by scheduling photography sessions for free for a number of people. I’m hoping that this will help me gain experience and, even more important, confidence.
So far, I think it’s working.
Last week, during Devan’s senior photo shoot, we had a chance to use a studio setup. Taking photos in an indoor studio setting is totally new to me. And, I kind of panicked. I gave up after only a few minutes when I couldn’t figure out the lighting. I wanted to quit. I even told Devan, “let’s just go home.” But, she was patient with me. She wanted to experiment. So, I became the subject and she started taking some pictures of me. And gradually, I calmed down. I became curious about the lighting and wanted to test it out. I recovered from my melt-down. I’m glad I did. I think we ended up with pretty neat pictures.
I get a little anxious when I start thinking about the coming weeks. But that anxiety is tempered with excitement. I’m looking forward to pushing myself and getting out of my normal routine. And I’m thankful to the people who are willing to help me do that. You’ll see more of them soon.
There are definite benefits of doing something that makes me nervous. This is a lesson I repeatedly have to learn. I don’t know if I’ll ever be one of those people that can step into any situation and land on my feet. But, I think it’s always better to have tried and messed it up horribly than to never have had the guts to make an effort.
I’m going to make an effort.
I’m sure I’ll end up with some good stories to tell.
And to that friend of mine, thanks. If it wasn’t for you, I’d probably just be taking pictures of my own feet instead of other peoples’.
P.S. You can see my friend’s work here.
2 comments:
Awkwardness is how we grow. No one likes to feel awkward so we evaluate what made us feel awkward and try counteract it. It is the uncomfortable moments in life that teach us because that happens to be when we are unaccustomed to our environment which makes our human senses more aware of our surroundings. Thanks for the shout-out :)
Some may push you emotionally but I think you're hard pressed to admit that YOU push people artistically. I'm inspired by your work. I rarely listen to your excuses because I know you'll talk yourself into what you need/want soon enough any way. The credit is only owed to yourself. You're the one with the talent, art, drive and best of all kind heart. Awkward or not, you're the best!!
Post a Comment