I Love Photography

So, I bought a new camera, an upgrade to my previous one.

It arrived.

I experienced a moment of sheer exhilaration and then sudden panic.

“What am I doing?”

This happens to me sometimes. I become overwhelmed by the fear of failure. And yet, I keep doing things like this – buying new equipment, booking sessions, drafting contracts.

I think I’ve finally figured out why.

When you pursue something, even when it makes you occasionally feel foolish and you are full of doubts and you keep agonizing over your past mistakes and those you have yet to make and you wonder if you've really got it in you and you feel like you'll never be on the level of other people and you keep faking it until but aren't sure if you'll ever make it and you constantly question yourself and sometimes question your own sanity and you're too afraid to jump in with both feet but find yourself falling in anyway... 

That's love.

That's something to hold on to. Because if you stick with it, there are moments of pure bliss when you get it right that make all the anxiety and fear and worry fade away.

And you're just left with the awesome.

I’m going to make mistakes. I’m going to be disappointed in myself. I’m going to wish that things had gone differently. But, I’m going to stick it out. Because I love photography.

I love it enough to hold out for the awesome.