I just got home from assisting at a wedding reception (beautiful location, beautiful couple, good food, good music) and I had a lot of time to think while driving.
Tonight, my social awkwardness and lack of technical knowledge of my camera left me feeling overwhelmed and out of place. I am frustrated with myself. Disappointed.
I am likely feeling this way because this experience forced me to face several things I struggle with as a photographer: 1) large groups of people 2) a lot of movement 3) difficult lighting.
Aside from the photographic element, I felt socially out of place, like I was making guests I approached uncomfortable. Instead of laughing it off and adjusting, I took it personally.
Just when I start to think I'm building confidence and growing out of my awkwardness, I have a few moments that derail me.
I'm not looking for sympathy or reassurance. I just felt the need to share this.
I am still a photographer.
I am still awkward. But I wish I wasn't.
4 comments:
Not sure if it helps, but I have found that although people sometimes appear uncomfortable when asked to be in a picture, it is those same people that always wish they were in more and had taken more photos and love you later for being there and doing it for them...especially when you make it easy for them to view or copy those same photos. Keep it up!
Good point Tim. Thank you for sharing.
everyone feels awkward all the time; the trick is to know that we're all in the same boat, and they're 'more afraid of you'. Seriously, doesn't work all the time, but it can occassionally. :D
Dear anonymous: Okay, 'everyone feels awkward all the time' - point taken. So, you're saying I'm not unique? ;)
I have discovered that faking confidence works, but I don't always have the guts (or energy) to do that.
We are all a "work in progress", as my mom says.
Thanks for your comments!
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